Travelling while mentally ill

I am in the middle of my first overseas trip by myself and thought this would be a good time to reflect on what it’s like travelling while having a mental illness, some of the lessons I’ve learned and my experiences. 1. You can’t be happy all the time. I’m really struggling with this reality …

My guest post at The Patchwork Fox

https://thepatchworkfox.com/2020/02/12/living-with-c-ptsd-guest-post/ I’m afraid of elevators. The confined space doesn’t bother me so much, it’s to do with being trapped in a private area with a stranger. I’m afraid they’ll hurt me. Rape me. That’s what trauma does to a person. It tears apart every part of you that is trusting and replaces it with suspicion …

Things I learned from my friend’s suicide attempt

*Please be warned, this post may be triggering* I wrote yesterday about my experience of finding out about my friend's suicide attempt, and decided to write a post about what I learned about interacting with someone who has just attempted suicide. I write this post having known several people who have attempted suicide, and have …

My Friend

*Please be warned, this post mentions suicide and may be triggering* Today I learned something terrible. A friend of mine attempted suicide. I'm in shock. I'm heartbroken. And feeling suicidal myself. I'm trying to navigate how to interact with my friend who is in so much pain. I don't know what to say other than …

Writing about writing

I've been having writer's block lately. Not just because I'm uninspired, unmotivated and doubting my own abilities, but because I'm severely depressed. Being depressed adds an extra obstacle to writing. It makes it feel almost impossible some days. It makes maintaining hobbies a challenge rather than a fun activity. I've tried writing for the sake …

Hypomanic or happiness?

I cleaned the apartment today. This would seem quite normal for most people, but I haven't cleaned my apartment in months. And when I say clean, I mean obsessively clean. For hours on end. For most people, this would not be a problem. For me, it's a sign that something might not be quite right. …

When Parent’s don’t approve

My mum and I have never seen eye to eye on many things regarding my mental illness. She doesn't believe that I have bipolar disorder, doesn't like the medications I take, didn't like my decision to start a course of ECT, the list goes on. This has had a profound impact on me. I'm still …

What’s the point of it all?

I sleep in late, another day, oh what a wonder, oh what a waste- Courtney Barnett I haven't got out of my pyjamas today. I'm having one of those days where I seriously question whether I will ever get better or whether this is simply my life. The apartment is a mess. I'm barely managing …

Insomnia

*Please be warned, this post may be triggering* Recently my sleeping medication stopped working. This has resulted in a lot of restless nights, early mornings and mid-day naps. I feel awful. My psychiatrist has put me on a new medication which hopefully will improve my sleep in the near future, but until then, I've been …

One of those days

*Please be warned, this post may be triggering* Today has been one of those days. My suicidal days. Where I have no motivation to do anything and I am overwhelmed with constant thoughts of ending my own life. Sometimes it gets to the point that I don't feel safe being in my own head anymore. …