Hypomanic or happiness?

I cleaned the apartment today. This would seem quite normal for most people, but I haven’t cleaned my apartment in months. And when I say clean, I mean obsessively clean. For hours on end. For most people, this would not be a problem. For me, it’s a sign that something might not be quite right.

I might be hypomanic. Or I might just be happy. Who knows? The two can be terribly difficult to tell apart. Hypomania involves feelings of elation, motivation, energy, and obsession. It can feel so good that it is easy to mistake for happiness. But happiness doesn’t leave you irritable, anxious, broke, and sleepless the way that hypomania does. Although alluring, hypomania can be a dangerous path to go down.

So how can you tell the difference? I’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder for 3 years and I still have difficulty telling the difference between moments of true happiness and hypomania. I don’t think I actually know what happiness feels like, looks like. As for today’s episode, I would say it is most likely hypomania because of the obsessive nature to the cleaning. Obsession is a clear symptom of my hypomania. But it is only an educated guess, it is incredibly difficult to tell the difference between a hypomanic episode and genuine happiness.

What are the signs of hypomania?

• Not sleeping/eating enough
• talking too fast, people not being able to understand what you are saying
• obsessive behaviours
• grandiose ideas
• racing thoughts
• elevated, euphoric, mood
• increased energy
• irritable mood
• increased spending
• impulsivity
• increased sex drive

These are the factors that I keep in mind when assessing whether I’m hypomanic or whether I’m sincerely happy. Do you have trouble telling the difference between genuine happiness and episodes of hypomania?